Wedding guest lists are one of the first things that are tackled when planning your wedding and it is the topic that can cause the most upset. You want to please your parents, in-laws, siblings, cousins, extended family, etc, etc, but how do you choose who you really want there, and who you can leave off the wedding guest list altogether?
You may feel awful about splitting your friends and family up into lists, but it's a very practical way to do it, and let's face it, we've all been one of those C-list wedding guests at least once in our lives, am I right?
Wedding guest lists are truly personal, and differ entirely from couple to couple. Some people may have cousins that feel like siblings, others may be much closer to aunts or uncles. You may want lots of children there or you might feel like a smaller, intimite, adults only affair suits you better. The only rule is that the people you really want there are there, and that you don't feel pressured or guilted into inviting your great aunt Hildy!
Now let's get working on your guestlist, get your pens ready!
These are the people that hold the most special place in your heart. If you had to get married in the morning, what people could you simply not do without? A-Listers for some couples might cover 10 people, for others this might be 50. So sit down with your other half and ask yourselves, "Who could we not bear to be without on our big day?"
This is usually your parents/grandparents, your own children, your closest friends and your siblings.
These are an extension of the A-List, they are people you really want to have at your wedding. They are special and important to you but it wouldn't ruin your day if they couldn't make it last minute.
This is usually your nieces and nephews, aunties and uncles, your wider circle of pals.
This is where it starts to get difficult and cause frustration. These are guests that you will only invite if your budget or venue allows. Some of them might be people that are difficult not to invite but when it comes down to it budgetary restraints, size of venue or the vibe of your day will dictate whether these people should attend. You may have to draw a line somewhere among the following...
This is usually your extended Family, work pals, plus ones that you don't know very well, old friends you haven't seen in ages
The good old D-List. The list of people you feel obliged to invite. So depending on the size of the wedding you're having (and who's paying for it!) this list will or won't make the final cut. Iff your parents are paying for your wedding, you might let them invite some of their people, and if you are having a church ceremony, it's polite to ask the priest to the meal. But you may feel obliged to invite your boss, but when it comes to your entire soccer team - that's probably where you need to call it quits.
This is usually parents' friends, priests, your boss, people who invited you to their wedding, children of guests, everyone at your father's golf club
DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE AFTERS
If you find that your are really panicking about hurting someone's feelings, the afters to a wedding is a magical escape clause that allows you to invite every cousin, old school pal, and great-grand-aunt along for a slice of wedding cake and a boogey on the dance floor. If you're having your wedding close enough to where you live - take advantage of the afters to get you out of any tricky guest list situations.